Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We left an ass print on the piano.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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