Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
