I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
