why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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