I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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