i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
