My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
