tell your sister to shave her snatch
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
