...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
