I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm gonna fight the coyote
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize