u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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