dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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