I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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