Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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