She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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