he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
