so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just found puke in my bra..
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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