uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Say something about gay babies.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
