sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
