Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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