why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
