I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
