Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
