Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You made out with two different species that night
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
