I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
