3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
