There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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