i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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