I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I smell like Dick and happiness
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
