feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
