I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
