I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
