i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
