fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize