Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
