woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
