oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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