You're my little dorito
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
