guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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