her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
