i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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