my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
