Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize