walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
