Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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