let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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