too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
