she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
