I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
