I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just had sex bonerless
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
