The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
