I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
