I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
