Dual....:-)
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We need to get me chipped asap
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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