you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
