We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
