I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
