WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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