Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
