If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
