What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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